Hello! We are about to enter comedy festival programming and what a time to be alive! Please come see me in Comedy Zone. I will be hosting every night but I promise that means I will also be telling jokes! It is not just an admin role, its real comedy too! Plus real comedy from four other great comedians for an absolute bargain price. We start on Thursday and I would absolutely love to see you there for a big kick-off show.
Anyway, welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! This is the newsletter that explores the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
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The Shave
As previously mentioned I was trying to have some time off in the lead up to the festival BUT, that did not stop me from shaving to spend a night in watching Turning Red. What a movie! Yet another master class in performance from Sandra Oh. Perhaps her best yet?
Anyway, there is no better way to spend a shave then immediately jumping into bed and enjoying the silky softness all to yourself.
Rating: 20/20 inside shaves are more than valid.
The Content
In honour of the Comedy Festival guide, here is my DEFINITIVE guide to show you absolutely must see this Comedy Festival. By definitive here, I clearly mean a very small selection that already makes me feel guilty about all the people I am leaving out (they should have subscribed to my newsletter, obvs). I now present you my list in nor particular order:
Okay, that’s enough shows, if you want a personalised recommendation based on other shows you’ve liked - then I recommend closing your eyes, stabbing a finger at this list and taking whatever you land on as my personal recommendation. That’s how confident I am in every show on this list.
Rating: 20/20 comedy will love you too as long as you give it love first
The Food
Easter eggs are back. Why does chocolate taste better than usual when you have to fight to peel off an aluminium wrapper that will remain strewn about your house for months afterwards? And why does it taste even better than that when it comes in a hard candy shell à la the phenomenon that is a mini egg. And why does it taste even better when you can catch it any time other than the 2 weeks leading up to Easter where it is full price. And they taste the absolute best when you get to unwrap the chocolate and reveal a surprisingly phallic shape and get to think ‘who approved this for children?!’
Rating: 18/20 catch me in the discount easter aisle come April 19
The Social Stuff
I went out for a drink after a gig the other night with the other comedians and a couple of audience members were certain they wanted to tag along even though I told them multiple times comedians are a really boring hang unless you know any good gossip about the current open mic scene.
Don’t get me wrong my Prudes, I love you and everything you do. But I don’t want to hang out with you. Nothing to do with you, I can barely maintain my own already established friendships.
Anyway, we did hang out and it was all very nice. Until my boyfriend came up and everyone said that they have never seen him and so he must be made up. This thinking must end! I am a strong independent woman who don’t need no man coming in and benefitting from the friendships I’ve made! Why do you even want him there? You are my friend and he is my friend but I’m not forcing a cross over. That’s even worse than a blind date to me. I wouldn’t make my friend from primary school hang out with an older work colleague. Having your love of me in common does not a fast friendship make.
Rating: 10/20 I am a layered and nuanced, independent woman who does not need to be associated with their romantic counterpart at all times
The Miscellaneous Stuff
I made a (literal) dog shit joke in The Age
A good ol’ fashioned curated Instagram. Perhaps the best since secret buttholes?/
Obsessed with how good Starstruck is and this breakdown of its season 2 comedic brilliance.
Luckily for me, I love a hotel room and these detailed surveys of them are divine.
Rating: 10/20 some lovely little links.
Final Rating (78/100)
Squeaking in just over the line for a successful shave week! I would like to thank each and every one of you reading this because I could never have achieved such success without my sweet prudes. I will be taking a break from the newsletter over the comedy festival, might drop a few short notes depending on how I am going…otherwise we will be back with a fresh newsletter on MAY 8.
Thanks as always for reading my newsletter! If you enjoyed it, I would love it if you could click the button below and share it with a friend.
Also another reminder to buy tickets to Comedy Zone. I would love love love to see you there so I can show off as per usual.