Good morning Sunshine!!
This is going to be the most rushed newsletter of all time because I have left it until Saturday afternoon to even BEGIN writing it. My addiction to this season of Love Island has been running my life, also I’ve had a lot of work on and I am super in-demand etcetera, etcetera. Choose which one you would like to believe here.
Anyway, you are now reading the latest edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
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The Shave
Blegh, if I did shave my legs since the last newsletter it was much closer to that coming out than it is now. I almost shaved them today but thought I could easily push it another little while without committing to such extreme effort.
Rating: 0/20 for the most forgettable shave
The Content
My boyfriend and I were sick of all our switch games but the online store to purchase new games is such a nightmare that we had to set aside a whole afternoon to research games and watch trailers and find something decent we would both want to play.
We settled on Spiritfarer, which felt like a Studio Ghibli film you could control and unlikely to destroy our relationship like other games might (looking at you It Takes Two). The game is beautiful and poignant. A meditation on coming to terms with grief and the loss of loved ones as you Shepard them from one realm to the next. An exploration of how it is more important to spend time with our families rather than chase career progression in a way that will render our short lives ultimately meaningless.
The impact of this message is lost on me though, as it has to compete with the constant ‘ba bah bah bah ba bap’ of the Love Island intro and me skipping all of the text so I can go back to quickly making glass in my foundry or feed my sheep or some other bullshit. I might need to learn to actually meditate, rather than rely on a game to provide that experience for me.
Rating: 20/20 nice to know that all art forms struggle to achieve their goals when faced with a brain corrupted by an endless need for distraction.
The Food
I have a new gripe which is people that under cater on the pizza order. I went to a workshop the other day that made a big deal about providing pizza and then ordered 6 pizzas to feed 12. 6 TO FEED 12. Half a pizza each is not enough! That might be the average amount of pizza consumed but the assumption that everyone will stick to 4 or fewer pieces is too dangerous to even contemplate. What if the pie isn’t cut evenly! Some of my 4 slices may be tiny baby wedges of pizza! That is more of a sample than a slice!
Especially because no one wants to be finishing off the last slice of pizza unless substantially peer pressured to do so. So you have to factor in for at least 4 slices remaining despite people still being hungry out of a general sense of politeness/fear of social shame.
I am here today to champion the 1 pizza per person method of ordering. Or at a minimum, you can knock one pizza off for every 4 people attending. We are looking at a MINIMUM of 9 pizzas and a preferred 12 pizzas for the order. Will you have leftovers? Yes. But pizza is better left over and as discussed you will have leftovers regardless due to entrenched social norms. Please, please. Tell me I am right on this. I really just can’t see any other way.
Rating: 12/20 Why do people refuse to live life with good sense as I do.
The Social Stuff
I have been too busy working to think of this one. A LOT of cancelled/rain checked/half plans.
Will do better. Will be better.
Rating: 0/20
The Miscellaneous Stuff
How to take things less personally.
Mailchimp has made Bodega Cats a game?!
Why online ADHD content is so annoying (and I assume I get targeted with it by virtue of being a comedian?)
David Eggers doing a little follow-up on why The Circle was banned in Dakota.
Only the bookish, cosy half of my personality is into this Swedish house?
Speaking of books, not only did I find out that we are at a point where Taskmaster Fan Fiction exists and also there is drama about it (the fan fic community don’t want to be made into a joke by this show)? (Disclaimer: I have not read any of these but might, for a laugh)
An incredible website - only jelly gummy gifs from here on out. Keen to hear which gif resonates most with you? I’m underwear with a face.
Rating: 20/20 I enjoyed these links.
Final Rating (52/100)
Gosh, barely scraping a pass! I hope this copy of the newsletter wasn’t too lacking. I have given all that I can but my spirits await me and they simply must be fared. I will be back and I will be on form one of these days I swear.
If you do want to catch me at a show, you can check out the gigs I am doing on my website here. Though I must admit the vibe at those gigs is really the same as here. I try to keep it real, y’know?
If you enjoyed this newsletter, I would love it if you could please share it with a friend. The more cool stuff I do, the more I will make sure its always shared here first. Plus, I will love you forever and will try and be nice and not awkward if we ever meet in the flesh!