Hello! It’s newsletter time. Let’s get stuck in.
You are reading the latest edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter that explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
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The Shave
Shaved in anticipation of a work project I was really looking forward to. I thought it would give me a little extra boost of confidence needed to really be at my funniest. Unfortunately, I had decided to go out for a nice walk on the weekend which triggered the suffering of a hay fever so extreme it went all the way through to some sort of sinus infection (my words, not the drs), so my newly shaved legs were bed bound. On the plus side, I did get a prescription for an asthma puffer to help with my breathing, which I’ve wanted to sort out for a while so I don’t have stress dreams about being inappropriately equipped to deal with thunderstorm asthma.
Rating: 15/20 fail to prepare then you prepare to have a difficult thunderstorm asthma season.
The Content
I want to take a minute to get stuck into The Try Guys drama, and I hope you respect the fact I chose to do it here in a way that is much to late to go viral. The force with which some guy from a corny internet show cheating on his wife took over my social media feeds was truly unprecedented. I felt like I was inner health plus and my tik tok feed was all the bad bacteria I had to defend against by hitting that ‘not interested’ button. Fast and true baby, fast and true.
The thing that really shocks me is that people are actively ADMITTING to their role in letting these four average boys from BuzzFeed continue to take up primo real estate on the internet. No one even seems to be saying it ironically or in a “I watch the Try Guys’ but only because it helps me fall asleep” kind of way. They have been going for 8 years! Surely at this point, they have nothing left to try. If I’m watching tik tok and keep seeing the same person over and over again they are dead to me after 3 weeks. Even that adorable man who understands the psyche of a teenage girl in a way I’ve never seen before. Maybe I hold too much bitterness because I have never had any online success, but at the same time I know I could never cope with the constant posting schedules and demand for your time.
Surely we all believe that anyone who gets this much time and space online, without successfully moving on to something bigger, will ineveitably fall into this sort of outcome. Based on my experience working in an office, it’s also a pretty common outcome in the ‘real world’ too... I know it takes a little while though to realise that affairs actually happen and aren’t just something that is dramatised for movies and TV. And this seems like a totally run of the mill affair that’s real impact is upsetting the ‘I’m a wife guy, brand’.
Of course there are some upsetting power dynamics at play, but we have to stop expecting the people we follow online to be good people! Sure he has risked your company that you’ve been building for the last 10 years, but there is truly no need for this company to exist in the first place! There is no need to feel upset for the fates of mediocre men that were simply in the right place at the right time.
Rating: 5/20 I hope to never think the words try and guys together again, even though an affair does fascinate me.
The Food
This one goes out to little french dinner rolls, hot from the oven and covered in butter. Is there truly anything in this world better?
I actually read the instructions on the packet for the brand I usually buy and have even started wetting my hands and flicking the water onto the tray before it goes in the oven. This is ostensibly to create some steam resulting in a crispy outside/softer inside scenario. Does it work you ask? No absolutely not. But when doesn’t it feel good to get a bit of wrist flick action going.
Whether you want to get wet with it or not, these consistently produce just heavenly results. These bread rolls are too me, the only thing that makes soup worth eating. I will devour the bread rolls dipped in soup and once the bread is done the soup is dead to me. No matter how delicious I found the soup just moments before.
Please, if you can ingest both gluten and dairy, do yourself a favor and take some bread rolls out for a spin. You won’t regret it.
Rating: 20/20 you are my shining star, little french dinner rolls. Bon Appetit!
The Social Stuff
I’ve had a tough ol week and it turns out losing your voice is a real deal breaker for a comedian. If only I had been appropriately trained in the art of clown! I was properly out for about three days and still it just felt like I was letting endless people down. Part of the problem of having a day job and being an independent comedian is that they are just so many people you need to contact every day you are sick to let them know you are leaving them in the lurch. My whole brand is built on being reliable in regards to actually turning up and then hopefully being funny as more of a secondary accomplishment after that. You should be able to just send out some sort of bat signal into the sky to let people know you are down and then put it out again but in a fun colour when you are back and ready to go.
Its so hard these days to be sick with anything that isn’t Covid. Feels like a mystery illness has no legitamcy. At least with Covid you are provided some guidance and regulation around how long you are allowed to be sick for. Instead I was just out here, on my own. Trying to do the right thing and feeling like you are doing a million wrong things in the process.
Rating: 5/20 my brain really doing me wrong on this one. I’m sure the absence was nowhere near as pronounced as it felt to live through.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Links links links:
Ridiculous but I can’t help but love a handpainted ad.
Love me a hot girl book.
Recycle all offices. Long live work from home.
My one and only voice of Mario
Loved this for spoilers on new movies coming out.
Not usually my thing, but I really enjoyed The Patient.
This branding from Molly Baz (from the youtube show of which we do not speak), infuriated me.
Rating: 10/20 rain out of steam.
Final Rating (50/100)
Okay! Perhaps in a bit of a depresso territory again. Not even sure if I have added up the scores right but I am spiralling in regards to all my life choices and need to get out and at have a quick walk in the sunshine to distract myself from all the problems of the world.
In brighter news, The Night Cap - a cosy storytelling show I co-host with my friend Darcy Fleming, has been magical! We have one show left tonight (October 9) then we are doing two more weekends (14/15/16 and 21/22/23)! If it sounds like your vibe, you can buy tickets here.
Thanks as always for reading! And if you like this newsletter I would love it if you could share it with a friend, would absolutely make my day and I promise to be more upbeat next time!
See you in two weeks, my prudes xx