European Summer Shave

I shaved my legs for...THIS?! Newsletter #49

Hello from the Edinburgh Fringe! It has been a wild time, particularly for realizing that I have never been able to afford Europe in summer before! I still can’t, but it is nice to know that it exists thanks to the generosity of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in sending me here, even without purpose as the winner of the last years of RAW Comedy (2020 and 2021 - both belong to me!)

Anyway, you are now reading the latest edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.

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The Shave

I am staying in student accommodation while I am here and my bathroom is the size of an aeroplane toilet. This has made the shaving process very difficult. Sitting on the floor as I want to do is no longer an option (also a bit gross as I don’t trust their cleaning practices and can only imagine the horror that would be athletes foot on my least athletic parts). I made do by hoicking my leg up onto the soap ledge (a little above my hip) and going to town on them that way. Based on the layout of the shower this was a generally good strategy for the left leg and a somewhat more awkward than good strategy for the right leg.

Rating: 20/20 Was it good? No, but I can’t underrate the excitement of something so novel.

The Content

I have seen SO MANY great shows. Shows that have really blown my mind and inspired me to work harder to create something great. I loved Chloe Peets, Jacqueline Novak, Chris Gethard and Rob Auton. Loved them all.

But I can’t help but be jealous when I watch a lot of these shows, particularly from male comedians. Where they make it so clear that they are allowed the time to be lonely little geniuses! I want the time to be a lonely little genius so I can write beautiful art that talks about my difficulties connecting with people and/or my emotions.

But because of the way I have been socialised, I am always busy filling my time with people instead of getting to cultivate that loneliness. I fear and crave getting to spend time alone in my own head in equal measure. Plus also there are just so many group events to attend. Are these people never going to group events? I don’t even have that many friends and still, I am always going to these group events (I believe normal non-crumudgeouns might call them parties.) Let women be lonely! Or at least this woman. I am fully of the belief that I can only create great comedy if I am left alone to be bored out of my mind. Procrastinating my way all the way around to actually working on something.

Rating: 13/20 the sting of professional and personal jealousy is at least a motivating force.

The Food

Coming to Edinburgh, I had one dish on the must eat list and one dish only. That dish was off course… A burger from Five Guys.

I had heard great things going in, and yes I know they have Five Guys in Sydney now but that is still quite a distance from my sweet home of Melbourne (homesick for you Melbs). I spotted a Five Guys on my first day, when I was desperately running back and forth securing forgotten plug adaptors and supplies to make my student accommodation room livable (mattress topper, pillows), but I was too scared to go. We danced around each other for another week, me continuing to spot the store but not yet willing to be potentially disappointed.

Once we hit the second Friday of our run and had made enough on the bucket to justify it, I decided the time had come. I ordered just a classic cheeseburger with pickles and some Cajun fries, I chickened out of ordering the milkshake the time I spent $50 AUD on some shakeshack flashing before my eyes.

The burger. It was sensational. Wrapped in tinfoil so it got perfectly sweaty in that way that makes all the flavours meld together. The cheese acting more like a glue than any food stuff. The two thick meat patties juicy and crumbling. I know none of this description is making it sound appetising. But please know this is all exactly what I want from a burger. I am thankful, that I waited that week to taste such perfection, because now I can calculate the number of times I can have this burger again before I return home. I’m thinking 4 more times is appropriate.

Rating: 20/20 turns out it takes exactly Five Guys to make the burger of my dreams.

The Social Stuff

This is an older, pre-festival gripe, but I thought it was worth including for those of you who may be jealous of all the summer in Europe content. The gripe is, people stalking your progress in the google sheets. I see you are there and I don’t want you to be.

I know the temptation is there to just jump in and have a little peek at the progress but I will be upset if you do. so without a little heads up first. What if I am just writing butts over and over again while my brain catches up on thinking duty? You getting to see that seems too much like you getting a free glimpse at the inside of my brain and how it works. This is something I am particularly insecure about because the way my brain works is in very short bursts. With big, BIG lulls in between those bursts. I also jump all over the document as I get bored or begin to struggle with any particular section. So it simultaneously looks like much more and much less has been done than what is actually there and down on the page.

Am I being too much here? Is it just me resisting the power that is collaboration? Or is their a fine line between collaboration and surveillance?

Rating: 10/20 Sitting on the fence with the score until I decide whether I am being unreasonable.

The Miscellaneous Stuff

I have not had the spare time to lollygag around on the internet and complete this section of the newsletter.

Rating: 0/20 did. not. finish.

Final Rating (63/100)

63! It just goes to show that even while travelling you can’t escape from yourself and your own downer ways. Life is just such a series of ups and downs. I got a passing review here on a line up show that called me ‘sweet’ and alternatively I think ‘cute’ which has really bummed me out. I must do more and strive harder to not be in that middle non-committal area of stand up comedy. Turns out you get way more column inches if you bomb horribly or steal jokes (or be very good which is where I would like to eventually aim for). Sometimes I feel bad that my comedy doesn’t say much about anything, but then at other times I think “don’t we all just need a break from the endless hot takes and opinion pieces to have a little laugh about pubes?”

Anyway, this has been my newsletter for this fortnight. It might have been late again but I am honestly not sure. Blame the time difference etc etc. I will be back again next fortnight, or as close to it as I possibly can. In the meantime I would love it if you could share this newsletter with a friend that you think might enjoy it. It would do wonder for keeping my spirits high this month. Thanks for reading, speak soon x