Hello!
Sorry, I missed a week! Was flat out with work and blank of mind. Hopefully, you enjoy this week which is also a bit short and sweet but SOMEONE set themselves a deadline that they are emotionally torturing themselves with. I am cursed with a personality that can’t handle having a boss but it turns out I am the worst boss I have ever had.
As ever, thanks for reading I shaved my legs for THIS?!? Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
The Content
Nothing latches on to an addictive personality more than an iPhone game. It is so easy to fall for those ads that don’t really show any of the actual gameplay and the next thing you know you are 24 hours and $12.99 deep in a new obsession. For a while, Apple Engineers would come out against the danger of iPhone distraction and the monster they created. That seems to have mostly quieted down since the screen time feature came out. A feature that we all know, is to be immediately turned off to stop you from entering an anxiety spiral about what you could have done with all that time.
The latest game I’ve been hooked on is Bitlife. It’s like The Sims but with words. It should be used as a story-generation tool. You always hear that writers need to torture their characters. A malevolent god that creates chaos everywhere they can. This game has proven to me that my biggest weakness in life is wanting people to be happy. I am playing some of the most boring characters in the world. Long happy marriages. Maybe some financial success. Very little mystery or intrigue. My partner played one game and immediately murdered two people, went to jail, orchestrated a riot in jail and escaped. Only to end up thrown back in jail again.
I guess the lesson is to live real life like me but subject my characters to misery like him. Since employing this rule I’ve had characters that become famous authors/nude models and someone married into the Japanese royal family where they could have as many affairs as they liked with no consequences.
The Food
I love living in Melbourne, but one of my complaints about this city is its inability to provide straightforward food options. Of course, it’s a delight to live in a city that loves food and gives you access to great restaurants that stay open past 9 pm. This is really more of a dig at every other Australian city.
I am friends with some of my favourite Australian comedians who also happen to share an interest in Spaghetti Marinara. You would not believe how hard it is to find a Spaghetti Marinara in this goddamn town. We are too influenced by trends! It’s all vongole this or clams that. The other night we had to get a Marinara that had Ndjua in it! Spicy mystery pork in a marinara? What has the world come to?
To be honest it was better than our usual Marinara. None of us are even that big a fan of the dish. I think we all just love the idea of having a group where you can go out to dine and no one has to think about what they are ordering. I recommend it. Ask for 4 marinaras for the table next time you go out and feel the freedom.
The Social Stuff
I’m not sure if it’s just the fact that my neighbours have been too loud lately but proximity is certainly part of the problem with cities. Cities were created to bring people together at first for food, and then, post-industrial revolution, for work. Work. Work. Work. Work. If you have a business in the city you get better access to goods, better access to knowledge and cheaper transport all round.
People would come to the city for the choice, the opportunity, the DREAM! Sure it cost more to live there, but there was the promise of benefits too. Cities were all about agglomeration benefits. Could a less romantic or inspiring word exist than agglomeration?
We know agglomeration benefits aren’t always that positive, because we have all been that person at the party. The person that just, gloms onto someone and refuses to budge. For you they are safety. For them. You are absolutely destroying their night. Just tailing them around the party. Watching other people have fun while you both make stilted conversation with each other. No one else is willing to get involved in your assured mutual destruction. Once you get the glom, 30 minutes and you’re gone.
The city was made for you to always feel like you’re at the dud end of the table with everyone having the time of their lives just out of reach.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Here are the links:
My Twitter/X use has really dropped off. But I am drooling over this Kimchi Focaccia. Here is the Focaccia recipe they used to get you started.
I love this guide to Savvanah from a brand I desperately wish I could afford Lee Mathews.
Also loved this commentary on ageing in a social media age.
A May-December relationship might make be a bit squeamish, but I love a May-December friendship
Adding these sunnies to my want-to-buy list. Anticipating a devastatingly hot summer and need pre-rewards.
Read wisely and with abandon.
Final Words
Well this is it! Thanks so much for reading. You are a wonder and a delight. If you take anything away from this edition, please order the marinara but do NOT download Bitlife. It will ruin you.
If you liked this newsletter please share it with your friends/lovers/enemies. I appreciate your support and the support of those that have wronged you. See you in a week x