Hello!
We’re back! I’ve been slack again but in my defence, I downloaded the game mini-metro and my town planner heart just could not stop trying to optimise those train networks!
I have been stuck in a little bit of a rut at the moment, always a nerve-wracking point where you get to find out whether you are going to see your way out of it or upend your whole life in the name of forcing some novelty into the situation. Only time will tell. At this point, the most likely outcome is buying a new coffee table and just getting on with it.
Thanks as always for subscribing, or if you haven’t you can click the button here and I’ll be thrilled to have you. If you do want to keep up to date on the reg, I also recommend a little Instagram follow as well. I’ve got post fright at the moment but I’m sure I’ll be back with a vengeance once the reality of trying to get people to see the show I’ve worked so hard on kicks in.
The Content
I’ve been practising for an upcoming trial show. A second hour of stand-up all about me. Daunting.
Comedy is all so very glamorous (lol), especially when you are alone in your bedroom reading your words, out loud, to yourself, in a series of increasingly painful time trials. It often feels like a test of your willpower to even begin and just like the marshmallow experiment, it is a test I am destined to fail over and over again. Is there really a meaningful difference between 1 or 2 marshmallows I ask you?
The other day I wrote the line ‘The type of depressing old pub that has never seen a happy hour - but the drinks are always cheap’ and genuinely punched the air as if that was a new or interesting thought. The missing link in the mess of a show that’s being woven together.
I wrote a lot of this (draft) show in a blissful period of inspiration. What a time! Why doesn’t it stick around? The very idea of inspiration is now nothing but a distant memory. Being able to do any sort of creative work on demand is a mystery skill to me. Sometimes I feel like I have a grasp on it and other times my mind is a blank and empty space. A void that is completely inaccessible to me.
That being said I’ve got a few nights at home alone this week and if you have any recommendations of things to watch to spark some inspiration I am all ears.
The Food
Do I just need a new pan if I keep trying to make things crispy and all the crispy ends up stuck to the bottom of my cast iron skillet?
No, I only blame the tools because I know I have done an inadequate job.
One of my favourite foods is an American Diner-style Breakfast Hash. Sure it isn’t quite as good as a hashbrown but it is more versatile. I attempted one the other night and instead of ending up with golden fried potatoes, I was stuck with a gluey potato goo. More bubble and squeak than hash, and even that’s a generous characterisation.
I think the problem is how long it takes to cook a potato. Even though they are delicious, they rarely feel worth the time investment. I keep trying to speed the process up with a parboil and I’m pretty sure that is where all the trouble lies. How can one technique be crucial for a roast spud but deadly for a fried one? If I ever am lucky enough to be offered my own cookbook (after a string of successful chick-lit novels fingers crossed) the whole thing will be dedicated to the art of the potato.
It’ll start with fries and end with those stamps you can cut out of potatoes to make your own Christmas wrapping paper. A year of potatoes to cook and craft with,
The Social Stuff
A friend asked me the other day how I find the time to read so much and be on the internet and I didn’t know how to answer.
Do I read before I go to sleep? Sometimes. Set aside a lazy afternoon on the weekend? Maybe.
I think if you are the type of person who reads, it just happens to you without having to actively search or plan for it. I will regularly find myself halfway through a chapter before realising I was meant to be doing something else. I have up to 6 books on the go at any moment, a few hard copies, tabs and tabs of articles and not one but two Kindles (sometimes 3 if I could the app on my iPhone). A mash-up of fiction and non-fiction that I can dip back into as the mood dictates. I consume books as if it is a TikTok feed.
There are definitely books that are too addictive to put down, I couldn't pull myself away from Yellowface or Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. There are other books I am desperate to be the type of person who loves them but I will struggle through every Rachel Cusk and I am on my third or fourth attempt at Chapter 1 of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Sometimes I think you just have to admit to yourself what you actually like and follow that.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
What’s been happening around here? I’ve been procrastinating with these links.
Honestly, I can’t make head nor tail of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s writing but I still loved this Jenny Odell piece on the myth of self-reliance.
This is the best food diary I’ve ever read. Oh to be an eccentric older man in New York.
Don’t know where to put this IKEA trolly but I want it anyway.
Now this is a Concrete Pigs type intervention. Let the government fill the holes, not the mosaic artists!
Always thinking about him:
Final Words
Thanks so much for reading. I wrote this newsletter in another small window of inspiration, as I procrastinated going for an afternoon walk. Would I enjoy the walk if I went? Of course! But the idea of leaving the house is such a hurdle and I’ve never been good at high jump even when my mum would tell me to ‘pretend I was a horse’.
If you enjoyed this edition of the newsletter I would love it if you could share it with your mates. Of course looking forward to those inspiring recommendations in the comments, both what I should be watching and any favourite potato recipes for the future cookbook.
Very much the same with inspiration/motivation, it's almost like I don't want to acknowledge it when I have it in fear of scaring it off? I've noticed that I'm less motivated in my luteal phase (which makes sense because I'm more anxious) but after I get my period and the week after I'm more likely to feel clear headed and motivated again. Very annoying but also kinda nice to know it's not me it's just my stupid body? Lmao.