Happy Sunday! Hope you’ve all had a cracking fortnight and no one got the cold I was whining about in my last newsletter.
Welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
If this isn’t coming straight to your inbox, why not subscribe using this handy button? I’d appreciate it, big time!
The Shave
Really, really bad shave. Sometimes I think I have the quick shave down to a fine art, a few swipes of my trusty sword and I head off into the day thinking “even if that shave wasn’t worth it, at the very least I can feel proud of the art I have created”.
Unfortunately on this day, I was sitting out on the balcony - enjoying a rare moment of Melbourne winter sunshine and a coffee and talking on the phone to mum. The light was so beautiful… until it settled on a huge swathe of my calf that had obviously not been touched by the razor that morning, nor the many mornings before it. If a landing strip is the hottest way to get a Brazilian wax (which, it is!) then the only thing hotter could be the landing strip I’d left all the way down the back of my legs.
Unfortunately, I’m not that confident in my body nor my sexuality, so I quickly hung up on mum and did a midday shower so I could finish the job properly.
Rating: 6/20 my shaver should be sheathed, for committing such crimes against me
The Content
I’ve been reading the script (playbook? regular book? who knows) for Black is the New White, by Nakkiah Lui. Partly because I was desperate to see the show and missed out, probably to go do some unpaid gig to three people, but also as an effort to get more familiar with scripts in general so I can one day write my own. I think the fact that you could do an actual course in screenwriting was one of my biggest shocks when I started getting into comedy - where was this information when I was weighing up my choices between a degree in town planning or accountancy.
Anyway, despite the fact I love reading and watching movies but reading a play suddenly becomes TEDIOUS. Is my brain truly so lazy that having to read the names in front of each line of dialogue is just too much for me? At the beginning of each scene where there is a narrator, oh how time flies when I read that. But as soon as we are getting into the meet it is more of a grind. Even though I am enjoying it - it has cute jokes, a great concept, fun lil jokes! I end up feeling like one of those audiences who totally reset after each joke and can’t let anything build. It just doesn’t hook me in, I didn’t make it through one scene of The Fleabag Scriptures.
The biggest problem with this is, all I am ever writing is one woman dialogue and god I would love to not read it back and find it torturous. So, I’m just going to keep pushing through because the only way I know how to achieve anything is dogged perseverance.
Rating: 5/20 at least if I struggle to read even the brilliant stuff, my own work might be quite as crap as I normally think.
The Food
I’ve been flat out, it’s been cold and I’ve been eating too much of the bad stuff. This has meant my main food companion for the past fortnight has been a big ol’ packet of Rennie’s. Those little spearmint squares are pure magic. Every time I chew one of those chalky little buggers, I feel a deep joy that not only is suffering from heartburn ‘so adult’ but so is having purchased the exact cure in advance. That being said I am out of everything
This was much better than when I had the horrifying realisation that I had eaten some version of fried chicken for 4 meals straight (katsu curry don, chicken karage, crispy chicken sushi and teriyaki chicken). Okay, sure the last one is a bit of a ring in but it is coated in a bit of cornflour to give it that certain something something.
Rating: 20/20 because I like what I like and what I like is chicken that has been made crunchy.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
I don’t know if it’s just because I want a holiday, but I am OBSESSED with Jeff Shelton Architect.
I’m also wanting to draw more, and love the idea of these weekly still life prompts. (My god, don’t tell me she is going to become a quirky prop comic?! Haha, no not yet.)
When thrifting became a personality trait. Much like loving dogs before it.
Tumblr is trying to win back the queer audience they got rid of. I’ve said it once, and i’ll say it 1000 times, tumblr died when they took away the sexy gifs.
Who should John Mulaney be now?
Is it cliche to love Paris? Sure, but I enjoyed playing the sims with this 5hr walking tour video in the background.
This Instagram account to calm the mind.
A good Bob Ross is hard to find (and even harder to purchase).
Rating: 10/20 Just a bit of meh really.
Final Rating (41/100)
41! I think the least worth it score we have ever had my prudes! Who knows how things would have panned out had I left my sexy leg hair landing strips. Sure it’s a little upsetting to get such a low score after what was overall a great couple of weeks, but sometimes that’s the way the cookie crumbles I guess.
If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with a friend that might also like it. And if you want to compete for the title of my favourite prude ever then you should also;
follow @deathbedcomedy on Instagram and book tickets to come see a show (and hear a spicy lil secret!).
Give Ben and Prue are Better than you a listen wherever you get your podcasts and give us a follow as well.
See you in two weeks! Get up to some late autumn mischief for me!