HAPPY NEW YEAR! From me, Melbourne comedian and writer Prue Blake. Committed to and ready to break 5 million resolutions that will only serve to make me feel guilty for the rest of the year!
Thanks for reading my newsletter exploring my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort, should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day and give the entire day them a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
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The Shave (18/20)
A nice clean shave, followed by moisturiser from the Chrissy stocking. Hard not to rate that innit. I’m moving house this fortnight so looking forward to rating a new shower situation that doesn’t consistently flood the bathroom.
A few points removed because the weather has really been less interested in allowing me to get any visual satisfaction from my wonderfully smooth legs.
The Content (6/20)
Bit different, bit different, I’ve been all about consuming one thing and one thing only and that’s Seth Godin audiobooks. Sure, some may say that the audiobook is a podcast for people that like really long podcasts of people just reading books and to that, I would say, ‘great marketing pitch, you’ve absolutely nailed that’.
So far, I’ve done both ‘This is Marketing’ and ‘The Practice’ which have been my constant companions while doing other activities. There is something about listening to self-help rather than reading it that feels more empowering. Like you are getting. things. done. Getting things done at the gym, getting things done at the shops, getting things done while my boyfriend goes down on me. We are being so productive! Except, here is what I have learnt from the endeavour:
…
Absolutely sod all.
But honestly, a really unique voice to drown out your own thoughts with. 10/10.
The Food (20/20)
Well, big news. I am moving in with my younger lover. My first time living with a partner and some may say I am over complicating an already difficult time by setting ourselves the goal of cooking every meal in January. Also no booze. Bring on the DRAMA. Mummy needs some new jokes.
The point is, it’s been an absolute free for all when it comes to food in the last fortnight. An endless feast of treating myself to whatever the heart desires before a month of living on some scrawny gruel (the exact opposite of tubby custard).
Okay, it won’t be quite that bad, I got a new Ottolenghi cookbook for Christmas and will be living the life of a vegetable king.
The Social Stuff (15/20)
Socially, I’ve been doing a bit of reflecting and y’know how there are some people that just seem to glide through life? These gliders just seem to go through life, putting in no real effort and having everything work out for them. It’s actually annoying and frustrating that things just keep going their way and you want them to learn a lesson from the real world just once so they might understand your life a little better?
Well, I think it is time to admit it. I am a glider. I’m walking on sunshine and I’m done being ashamed of it. Sure a lot of this is just a reflection of the many forms of privilege I am lucky to have but there has to be something more to it than that. I know this because I was talking to my housemate the other day about Paris.
When you visit Paris, a lot of people that have already been like to warn you to be careful around stations because tourists are often scammed there. What they are really saying is ‘you will never look Parisian’. I, of course, received this warning many times and still proceeded to go to the station and leave my wallet on top of the ticket machine and I don’t know what everyone else is going on about because a lovely group of kids came and returned it to me with everything in it.
My housemate was mugged by kids in the same location and they took everything. He may be a straight white man, but he is not a glider.
The Miscellaneous Stuff (10/20)
Have not had time to read articles or enjoy much inside time. The time I did have was all taken up by an unexpected Bridgerton binge. Gotta love a horny show and no one delivers on the horny quite like Shonda Rimes.
As a bit of a misc. treat for you though I have to admit as a Scorpio I very much enjoyed this old Ologies episode:
Final Rating (69/100)
Oooooh baby! Not a worth it rating but a wooooorth it rating, if you know what I mean. This new year is not quite the fresh start we all wanted so it would make sense that we aren’t knocking it out of the park straight away with a good score.
My hope for all my prudes (both fans and foes) is that this year works out how you want. I did some Tarot readings over the weekend and it seems like a mixed bag for a lot of friends out there! I’m hopeful for doing more gigs, continuing this newsletter and starting some new and exciting projects. Next fortnight I’ll be back with a list of gigs you can come see and have lots of fun! For now, though, it’s the holidays so sit back, relax and enjoy yourself.
And finally, if you like this newsletter I would love it if you shared it with a friend. Is there a better feeling than being the one with the hot recommendation?