No Shave Like Home
I shaved my legs for...THIS?! Newsletter #44
Hello! I’m back in Melbourne! The greatest city in the world (behind Copenhagen). When I first moved here I just walked around all day thinking about how amazing the city is and I’m sure if it was warm enough to leave the house I would feel that way all over again after a month away. I did think the city looked dirty and terrible after getting back from Copenhagen but that’s another story…
Anyway, you are now reading the latest edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
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A real late night, sitting on the floor of the shower, if not now then when shave. I’ve realised the error of my ways in changing from a shave everyday person to a shave very occasionally when I want to write about it for the newsletter person - that being it is WAY more obvious when you miss a whole patch and end up with two landing strips down the back of your legs.
Rating: 15/20 is landing strip sexy? I think it could be sexy.
I binge-watched Conversations with Friends while obsessively playing Chess.com on my phone this weekend. And I was into it. This has confirmed to me that there are two types of people in this world - Conversations with Friends people or Normal People (people).
The opinion online seems to universally be Normal People is good and Convo’s with Friends is bad. But I am willing to say it now, Normal People was a fine but ultimately tedious show about a single on-again/off-again relationship. If that’s the type of show that you are into then you might as well watch Starstruck and at least enjoy yourself instead of being in some sort of dreamy porno land.
Conversations with Friends on the other hand has an “extremely messy love quadrangle”. WHAT IS NOT TO LIKE! I love extremely mess love quadrangles. I love couples having to negotiate what their relationship looks like outside the confines of how a ‘normal’ relationship presents. I love a multi-episode arc that is mostly just a tourism advertisement for hosting your friends and living as a rich and successful writer in Croatia. I love Jessa from girls being there with almost no variation from that other universe. I love tedious and embarrassing spoken word poetry (makes me feel better about stand up). I love thinking “wow that guy is dating Taylor Swift” every five minutes. And most of all I love having an opinion that is contrary to everyone else's.
Rating: 18/20 maybe I was just losing so badly at chess that what I really loved was the distraction.
There is actually so much to talk about in food right now. I thought I was going to brag about my new Nigella cookbook and how I cooked an entire meal from it…but I’ve been eating that meal for three days and I am totally and utterly over it now.
What I’m more interested in are the snacks you keep in the fridge for those moments when you are bored and a bit peckish and you think ‘I’ll just go look in the fridge for a moment’. The perfect fridge snack is hard to come by. They have to be a flavour bomb that is either salty, sweet or tart (my three personality traits lol), they have to be small enough to not really feel like you are eating anything and they have to be something that you can pick up without any cutlery.
When I need something salty I can head straight to the tub of green olives, or some hot smoked salmon kept in a Tupperware so I can pick off chunks with my bare fingers. Then for sweet, we are obviously going chocolate - I have a block of Whittakers Coconut Rough, a Tony Chocolonely with almonds (which I don’t like) and a disgusting Cadbury banana and caramel snack block (which I do like). Then obviously the remaining category is just all pickles, including pickled onions. Just call me Shrek.
Rating: 17/20 Points knocked off in case this food section is the lead up to the pregnancy announcement I definitely do not want to make.
The Social Stuff
I’m living a life of coffee catch-ups that actually happen and coffee catch-ups you plan that never happen.
And I prefer the ones that never happen. If you want to know what is going on with me you should just read the newsletter. It contains more of my actual thoughts than I can convey in person anyway.
Rating: 10/20 will be rescheduling the same coffee catch ups for the rest of my life.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Can Tom Cruise run? A Study.
This post oddly made me want a single bed.
Annoyed at how much I love this woman’s aesthetic (the reviews I am meh on)
Laughing because this article is bad but also clearly just wanted to use the term ‘glory box’ over and over.
The Cut doing the absolute MOST to try and sell new beauty trends.
Rating: 15/20 pretty proud of this collection.
Final Rating (75/100)
Bang on the limit! Thats a worth it day my Prudes! I hope you enjoyed this newsletter, even if you just skimmed through for the highlights. Truthfully I’ve been skimming through old newsletters looking for highlights too. Hoping that past Prue was kind enough to leave me some joke ideas that I wasn’t smart enough to pick up at the time. I haven’t found anything yet, but really trusting that it is out there.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading. I’m stuck working all morning so any likes or shares or comments would be greatly appreciated (I love being distracted at work). I don’t have too much to plug at the moment as my winter gig calendar is looking a bit dire, but I’m sure that will all turn around before too long and for now I am ‘investing in an online presence’ again (follow me on tik tok!) that I am sure will fall to shit the second things pick up. See you in two weeks xx