Shave it for later

I shaved my legs for THIS?! Newsletter #2

Intro

Welcome to I shaved my legs for THIS?! The newsletter where I review every day I shave my legs to find out if the effort was really worth it

I have a sneaking suspicion that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort (whatever that is for you) might translate to a better day on average. But with this newsletter, I critically review each shave day and rate them out of 100. Only days with scores higher than a 75 are deemed worth the shave.

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The Shave (7/20)

Did a super quick whip round the legs with the trusty and rusty Dollar Shave Club razor. Missed a huge patch down the back of my left leg. Admitted defeat and purchased more razor heads to help get this score up. Feels like cheating a little to be using an old shitty razor and then rating the day low. I need to at least start the day off with a chance, so I bought the razors, the ‘shave butter’ and ‘shave scrub’. Partially to get free postage and partially because the inability to go do anything fun has correlated with a modest increase in my available funds. Will be expecting to see a 10/10 here next entry to get a sufficient return on this investment.

Also had clean sheets and slept naked, which as we all know, is the highest honour a shave can get. Even one this terrible

The Content (12/20)

Honestly, I don’t have a freaking clue what I watched on this day, lockdown is but a blur of passive consumption for me. My best guess is that I searched fruitlessly to watch Beth Stelling and Rose Matafeo’s new stand up specials which have been released on the anti-Australian HBO Max before giving up and spending too long on twitter and two dots. It did net me this excellent thread about a Neopets crime ring that I truly recommend.

everest @everestpipkin

every few years i email neopets support asking if they can help me log into my childhood account and (unsurprisingly, tiny team, millions of old accounts) i've never heard back

I also listened to all of the following podcasts;

• The Rabbithole

• Nice White Parents

• The Sporkful

Just to make sure I didn’t have to spend a second alone with my actual thoughts. I had a break up in 2018 so bad it ruined me for all music. I have felt since that time - ‘why listen to music and feel when you can listen to podcasts and learn’. And you can put that powerful message on my grave (though hopefully not soon).

Also a shout out to Talkin’ Biscotti, the only truly positive content to arise from the great pivot to online.

talkinbiscotti

Andrew and Ben are back for another episode of Talkin' Biscotti. We're off to Sweden to try another biccy. Enjoy!

August 27, 2020

The Food (15/20)

Fooooooood. Honestly somehow bored of it at this point. I have started to panic buy random items while at the supermarket to create a stressful kitchen experience for myself akin to the Masterchef mystery box. This week I netted myself a 1kg bag of blood oranges. Honestly, I think they should make more fruit bleed because it really adds something to the overall flavour profile.

So I had porridge with a blood orange curd for a brunchy type meal. Really have come to think of myself as a bit of a porridge gourmand over this period. The trick is…add lots of stuff that isn’t porridge.

For dinner, I had salmon with blood orange and fennel. Really putting in some serious leg work on this bag of oranges. I have to admit this was from an Alison Roman recipe, who I know is now divisive, but her recipes are too goddam easy and delicious to give up. Let us just hope she learned from the whole thing and move on I say.

Prue Blake @PrueBlakeComedy

Tired of taking shit for my theory that bacon is a dom flavour and avo is a sub flavour and putting both on anything is pointless as they are too busy getting freaky and cancel each other out.

The Social Stuff (12/20)

Now I do actually have an intimate partner during this time, but as we don’t particularly enjoy sleeping together, I only see him about twice a week since curfew was introduced. I should say by sleeping together I mean we have differing opinions on linens, sleeping apparatus and the like. Not differing opinions on the quality of the sex. It is just much easier to stay in love with someone when they aren’t the direct cause of your tiredness. This is all a long-winded way of saying…. no sex again.

I did see a friend for a walk. The exercise mandate has hampered my former vibe of simply talking for so long outside of places for exercise that the very notion of physical activity seems laughable and we go out to eat instead. Anyway, in homage to that idea, we found a cafe selling takeaway cocktails which they then put into take away coffee cups and I cried tears of relief that Melbourne can still be just so. damn. Melbourne.

Prue Blake @PrueBlakeComedy

I've never been one for a period drama, but I must admit I have found a real thrill in asking friends whether they have 'taken an intimate partner' to get through this time.

The Miscellaneous Stuff (10/20)

I had a nice chat with my Aunty about the apocalypse. We both agreed the way to go was in a semi-hidden basement with a reasonable supply of books, films, snacks and wine. With any luck, as supplies were running low someone would find us and we would happily let them take us out (we may need to finish just 10 more pages first). Our family is not one built for hardship, but a long line of the shallow and superficial and that’s okay with me.

Also, I recommend this video, was truly struggling with my mental health this week and this just provided the moment of calm I needed. Stamps.

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Final Rating (56/100)

Ooooft, just over the line on this day. Could have really gone badly without a few well-timed food items. Though I think that might be the rule for any day. Really hoping that by the next time I shave my legs they are a bit freer and we might start to see those scores lift. Until then, miss your cute face!