Good morning my sunshine! It’s Sunday and this time my newsletter is all about butt stuff. Is that still on trend?
Anyway, welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! the newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
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The Shave
Shaved my legs especially to go into hospital for a procedure, and I say procedure as a polite way to dance around the fact it was a Colonscopy. Of course I knew I would get the best possible medical care if the Drs could see I also put some effort in and kept my legs silky smooth for them. A real triumph here that because we were still in lockdown, I wasn’t able to debate whether I should also get a brazillian wax for them - something I have not done since I was in my early 20s before I got superstitious that if you waxed before going there was no chance you would pick up.
Rating: 15/20 nothing like the feel of freshly shaved legs on institutional bed sheets
The Content
I really thought this section would end up being a deep dive into ‘Bad Art Friend’ discourse (I could never not be on the side that has the bitchy group chat), but then Justin Beiber released a new film clip for ‘Ghost’ and it simply must be discussed.
When Diane Keaton (!!), style icon and goddess posted the teaser trailer for this film clip I was sure it was going to be a gorgeous story of the best May/December romance since Harry Styles and Oliva Wilde.
Unfortunately upon watching the official video this is instead a son helping his mother recover after the patriarchs death by seemingly spending a lot of money on her and having a bit of a fauxmance. I have to respect a video that understands ‘throwing money at the problem’ as a great solution, even to grief. I would 1000% watch a video that just alternated between Justin and Diane picking out fits for each other and also maybe snogging?
Rating: 20/20 Diane and Justin know how to get tounges wagging and lips a flapping
The Food
I have been embracing the cult of the food influencer this week. You know the influencer I’m talking about because this freaking spicy salmon bowl is absolutely everywhere and I take the algorithm not recommending them as a personal affront.
Of course, I am talking Emily Mariko aka a living embodiment of an adulting meme. Emily has shot to tik tok fame (after years of youtube and insta fame) for making ASMR food prep videos where she doesn’t talk, looks like she has everything under control and occasionally throws in a cutesy dance. The true unattainable dream. She even makes microwaving salmon seem more aspirational than a cardinal sin with her hiding it under the rice technique.
Anyway, the salmon rice *was* delicious and though I am suspicious of her appeal, I can only hope it is because I would like to be the older aunt/spiritual guide to the Gen Z babies microwaving their salmon without a cover… and not my distrust of anyone who looks exactly like all other influences but is meant to be more empowering than the others for some small, inconsequential reason.
Rating: 12/20 Do I have Baggage? Maybe Emily has a recommendation for that too.
The Social Stuff
I have switched to using Door Dash over Uber Eats for my food delivery needs, and I’m still getting used to the new dynamics. One thing, in particular, irks me - which is the ‘double dash’ or getting your driver to pick things up from two separate places. Surely it is not possible to partake in this feature without feeling like the world’s biggest asshole. To pay for someone to assist in the delivery of food is one thing, but to have them run errands?!?! Unchecked decadence.
Rating: 10/20 let me keep the pretence of having to CHOOSE between ordering dinner or dessert, doordash!
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Let’s start with a highlight, this insane moment in ‘the most boring video ever made’:
Also what happens to our online returns? I personally plan on selling mine on Depop at cost price if not a huge mark-up (why do they think anyone would pay $50 for secondhand Zara??)
Didn’t read the article, but the pictures were nice.
Using this ‘every book in Ted Lasso’ article for recommendations, trying to crawl into the minds of people more talented than myself.
Keeping this case for ugly design in mind when I try to do my own graphic design work.
Artists share bedtime rituals that keep them creative (can’t believe its not scrolling between tik tok, insta and twitter for too many hours like I do?)
Dreaming of being overseas, browsing an Anthropologie and buying these
Speaking of travel - love these illustrations
Conflicted on ‘grand-millennial interiors style
Rating: 10/20 it was WORK pulling these together, but if even one intrigues you I will be happy
Final Rating (67/100)
Alright, not quite a worth it shave day but not bad either, maybe I should have waxed my but after all? Generally, it feels pretty appropriate for the endless blah we are enduring here in Melbourne. I am consumed with guilt that I can’t turn out my best comedian self and I default into being a moody little bitch the longer lockdown lingers. My deepest condolences go out to anyone having to deal with me on the daily.
We can only hope that after I get my second jab tomorrow and things start opening up (inconveniently the day after my birthday) that a better Prue comes out to play. As always I will keep bringing you newsletters and it always makes my day if you share them with someone else you think might enjoy them.
Love each and every one of you my prudes xx Talk soon!