Hey! Thanks for joining me on this little fortnightly review of my life/social experiment.
Okay wait, what actually is this? Well, it’s I shaved my legs for…THIS?! the newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
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The Shave
I have shaved so many times this fortnight, partly because we were in lockdown and what else was I going to do and partly because now I have a personal trainer I am living that full sleek and dolphin-like athlete life. You can’t have a hairy leg ruining the smooth lines of a lululemon legging.
Rating: 20/20 as both a time killer and ability to make me feel dolphin-esque, full points for the shave.
The Content
I made the mistake during lockdown of watching ‘just a few episodes’ of Love Island. This has resulted in me becoming full obsessed with the drama of the island and adding words like ‘mugged off’ into my vocab.
The problem is the island has so much confrontation I walk around perpetually scared that I am going to pulled for a chat and suddenly thrust into a confrontation. It’s honestly the most scared I’ve been since I used to watch horror movies to hook up with boys in high school. The other night I was walking to a gig and I actually jumped at my own shadow.
The producers of this show throw in more twists than M. Night Shyamalan. Who needs a beach that makes you old when you have producers that will send your ex-girlfriend back into the villa to confront you after you promised to leave with her and then bailed the next day.
Rating: 20/20 nothing like embedding a constant tension in your day
The Food
Everything I have had to eat has been overshadowed by my obsession with Nico’s chicken schnitzel sandwich. This sandwhich…it is hard to know if it is as transcendent as I think, or just served from a cool hole in the wall shop with good branding. Its like when you go to a fancy restaurant and you can’t tell if the food is actually worth the money or they just have Le Labo handsoap and moisturiser in the bathrooms.
But the Nicos Chicken Schnitzel sandwhich, which is served on this fresh bread that tastes like the stuff my mum used to make from a packet in the bread machine. Then we have lettuce doused in salad creme which is delightfully twee in the same way Ted Lasso portrays England. Then we add a sheet of Nori to make it seem inventive, special and worth the $15 price tag. Plus the chicken is of course coated in panko - which lets me link you to this video. Please please click that link if you share my love of efficency and a well maintained production line.
Rating: 20/20 I got a park, at lunch time on a tuesday in the city to get this sandwhich and for a brief moment I appreciated lock down.
The Social Stuff
Used the newfound freedom to undertake the very exciting tasks of both a teeth cleaning and a haircut, unfortunately not simultaneously. The teeth cleaning went off without a hitch because I am a good girl that flosses nightly.
But the haircut… I now have a head that resembles a mushroom. This wasn’t the hairdresser’s fault, the problem was she was cutting for my mask face - which didn’t account for the round cheeks and weak chin of my face au natural. Luckily I was offered a glass of prosecco so they did get a few good glimpses of the proper goods while they were working, so at least I resemble a cute mushroom.
Rating: 16/20 at least with the new cut I will be gaining followers like crazy on fairytok
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Not so many links this time because Love Island really did take up a lot of my time. But here is what i’ve got:
Is that product good? Or just part of a need to keep up with the instagrams of the rich white lady cricle jerk (investigating the Wing, Great Jones cookware and Man Repeller).
Obsessed with his pinafore from Lee Matthews, not sure how much money I would need to make to justify the purchase but it is much much more than I have now!
Is just Touching fish the future of all work?
I think watching buzzfeed is very uncool but I like it when Tom eats everything on the menu.
Making something already adorable, a port crane, even more adorable.
Otherwise I am reading City of Girls and rewatching Starstruck. Both of which I highly recommend.
Rating: 10/20 not my best work here…but not my worst
Final Rating (86/100)
A worth it day! Finally something to celebrate in this cruel and uncertain world! I am feeling particularly thrilled because I didn’t start writing this newsletter until 6pm last night, after a particularly gruelling work out I made my boyfriend do with me. Very proud of myself for pulling this out of the bag. Thats just how much I care about you dear readers!
Hope everything is going well with you all! If you liked my newsletter I would love it if you could share it with a friend. I just realised I thought my following count was my follower count on twitter and i’m not quite the social media gun I previously thought. Some buttons below that might help you out! Otherwise will speak to you again in two weeks. Parting is such sweet sorrow, yadda yadda yadda.