My Prudes! Guess what! You asked for it after last week so here is the list of dinners that are easy and delicious enough to help you avoid succumbing to take out. I apologise that I really developed a soft spot for these recipes when I was deep in a Bon Appetit/Alison Roman phase and my heart has moved on but my stomach hasn’t. I’ll keep adding to it as I come across new recipes and if you have any you recommend then flick em on over!
Welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! This is the newsletter that explores the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
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The Shave
I did not shave for my brothers’ wedding, because I decided the shave I did a few days before was good enough. Long live the maxi dress.
But also the shave a few days before was a whole ordeal… I tried to shave my legs while doing a deep condition hair treatment and keeping the shower on but avoiding getting water on my head while consistently having water on my body. Anyway I nicked myself and then as I reacted to that cut, I got my hair wet and the conditioner dripped directly into the cut and it STUNG like a MOTHER. I may need to change the name of this newsletter to “I didn’t shave my legs for this or anything ever”.
Rating: 5/20 is there anyone out there that leaves the shower to deep condition/lasts the full 10 minutes
The Content
Storytelling is BIG right now, or at least it is in my heart. I watched Tig Notaro:Drawn (an animated comedy special) on Binge which blew my tiny lil mind. Sure I rewatched it a few days later with my family and they didn’t seem as keen - but me subjecting them to comedy they aren’t that keen on is our primary way of connecting (and I’ve never really got the appeal of Monty Python - so we are even).
I’m also rewatching ‘How to with John Wilson’ and desperately trying to break it down and understand it so I can steal the magic formula that makes it so good. This is of course without putting in the hours of effort to film what I assume is, every waking second, and then go through all that footage to find the moments of gold.
But the STRUCTURE, the structure could be something we could steal. I guess this might (?) be a spoiler if you haven’t watched it yet. Anyway, I think the formula is loosely this:
Introduce the thing (scaffolding) and make it part of a small problem that has high stakes e.g. Everyone is going to die, but that’s why we have scaffolding to protect us.
Provide the history of the thing - how did we go from no scaffolding to an $8 billion dollar industry of semi-perm scaffolding everywhere.
Defining the thing – what is scaffolding/where does it come from
Introduce a slightly different offshoot problem still related to the thing – Scaffolding meant to be temporary so people don’t care how it looks (especially good if you have a character here)
Talk about a solution to the new problem - Scaffolding as art/in movies
Back to the original problem, but opposite take - Maybe scaffold isn’t good and is just as likely to fall on you as the thing it is protecting you from falling on you.
A personal story that seems irrelevant but then ties it back to the thing we are talking about. Easy to settle for things we think are temporary.
Go somewhere with a lot of ‘experts’ on the topic - Scaffolding convention and introduce a surprising angle (the city with the scaffolding convention has no scaffolding except on a single big construction site).
Wrap up the thing – A big event (where scaffolding wouldn’t have protected you) followed by a nice vague lesson on the human condition
So, now we know that, should be a piece of piss to write our own shows huh?
Rating: 16/20 points off because of how I included this just to justify a full day of procrastination.
The Food
I’m drinking Pet Nat while I write this and it’s fun getting on the sauce and sharing my opinions. Is Pet Nat still cool? I don’t think so. It was cool when you used to be able to drink it and pretend you knew about wine when really you liked getting to drink something that tasted a lot like Pasito.
Rating: 20/20 if drinking Pet Nat alone is wrong then I don’t wanna be right babyyyyy
The Social Stuff
We all know that opposites attract, but what they don’t tell you is that if you are a comedy obsessed extrovert dating a crypto obsessed introvert - you are both going to spend a lot of time thinking about your thing while they talk to you endlessly about their thing.
That’s why it was so nice this week when they found a hacker responsible for stealing billions of dollars of bitcoin and the cringe, CRINGE raps that they used their wealth to create. Our things have finally intersected! Oh, you didn’t click through on that last one? Try and make it the whole way through this.
“Always be a goat, not a god damn sheep”. You know something is truly bad when the best way to make fun of it is simply to quote it without comment. Really calls into question my fantasies of becoming independently wealthy (through legitimate or not so legitimate means) so that I can create art.
Rating: 20/20 drama in the relationship is bad…unless it’s not your drama. Then it is the glue that ties us together.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Killing Eve AND Tarot Cards. This is speaking directly to me.
An interview with the ‘How To’ man himself (John Wilson).
A great essay from Roxanne Gay (I mean, of course, it’s great) about the hard year that was 2021.
Tax the rich, and have a nice day.
A great journal article on unsuccessful treatments for writer’s block.
I would simply nudge nearly all of these out of the way with my car.
Rating: 17/20 yes. yes. yes.
Final Rating (78/100)
IT WAS WORTH IT. What a win. Way to turn this year around for the prudes! I am shocked, I am stunned, I can barely believe it. But also the wine is hitting so I do have to go to bed and read self-help books on my kindle. It’s the best time to do it, because you won’t remember the information - but it’s more helpful for making you feel less guilty than any meaningful life change anyway. As always, if you liked, learned from or loathed this edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?!! Please share it with a friend who might feel the same! Create a bond that will last a lifetime.
Also in promo corner, if you are looking for a show to see this Comedy Festival, I recommend buying a ticket to Comedy Zone. I’m hosting every night and it will be, an absolute cracker of a good time.
Also, a reminder that I am at the Comedy Store on the 14 - 19 of Feb (excluding 15 where I am at The Enmore Comedy Club) for any Sydney fans.