Happy Sunday! Can’t believe I hadn’t already used this title, sometimes miracles do happen, huh.
Welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or otherwise putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day and give the entire day them a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
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The Shave (16/20)
The first shave in the new shower and let me tell you, there are some issues to iron out. As long time readers know, I am partial to sitting down in the shower and getting into this shaving business. This has been an issue for me. In my last shower, it was an issue because we had no shower door and a continual flooding problem that I did not help by covering the drain with my juicy butt. In this shower, we are in a small shell half bath, covering the flooding issue but requiring some complex contortions to shave and avoid water and raise again. Still, I’ve been wanting to get back into yoga so I think we can make it work in the long run.
The Content (18/20)
Watched Lupin on Netflix and stop me if this is too big a call, but I think it is one of my all time favourite sexy, french, book-based dramas with a criminal protagonist. There is something so satisfying about watching something as trashy as a show about a ‘gentleman burglar’ that consistently manages to get away with recreating the plot of a beloved national novel and still feeling intellectually superior because the show is in french. Absolutely, love that.
It did make me regret the fact that I never finished the Trixie Belden book my mum bought me in grade 7 because a boy named Oliver teased me about it. I think the conversation went something like…
Oliver: ‘hows tricks?’
Prue: ‘whaaaaa??’
Oliver: ‘y’know, hows uhhh, Trixie Belden’
And that was enough to make me abandon that book and look forward to leaving that help hole for the greener grass of highschool. In hindsight, I now see the panicked move of an anxious boy that was not yet equipped to not be instantly understood. A shame I didn’t pick that up sooner, could have written a Trixie Belden themed pilot right now instead of the 3 half of a pilot script I currently have. Though looking it up, know she is known as an ‘uncool girl detective’ so maybe that boy was doing me a favour.
The Food (12/20)
I’ve been settling into the new place and focusing on cooking more, mostly because I am too anxious to figure out how to get food delivered to an apartment (do I come down, do I buzz them up? How much direction to I give?)
This has bought us a mixed bag of treats for dinner that has heavily focused on the bacon and egg muffin. It takes every ounce of restraint I have to not call it a McMuffin, but I will not let such a universal dish be branded with that brush. We also made a tomato soaked bread salad thing from the new Ottolenghi book. It was good in terms of taste but bad in terms of texture, which is not the optimal combo of those two food elements. I prefer good in both taste and texture, maybe even phenomenal in one. It was a dish that really makes you realise how much heavy lifting texture can do in a meal.
Its also just been a process of really getting to know the quirks of a new kitchen. This process was expediated when I had the brilliant idea to put a few more things on the top shelf of the pantry which immediately proved itself to be more of a decorative shelf, tipped over and ended up showering me with two wine glasses I had stored up there. Turns out the disaggregate glass from two wine goblets will absolutely cover your tiny kitchen, giving you ample time to get to know all the nooks and crannies. Also, a thorough lookout for any further booby traps left by previous renters with a grudge.
The Social Stuff (8/20)
It has been an absolutely hectic fortnight, a fact I knew for sure when I scraped the side of my car turning into an underground garage. The ramp wall just came out of nowhere. I was rushing around trying to fit in the gym over lunch so I had time to have dinner with a friend before going out to a gig. Isn’t my life just so interesting?
Anyway, the car has a big scrape down the side and it looks bad. I know I am growing because this car has taken longer to resemble my completely beat up first car but it has still got the exact same patina of age and accidents in the end. I do need to say that luckily this patina has come from the likes of walls and not other cars on the road.
My issue is that I have no belief in my own driving abilities so each time I have an accident that results in some cosmetic damage I leave it and just call that ‘my crunch zone’. I find it genuinely comforting to think to myself ‘doesn’t matter, I will simply make sure if I have another accident, I just try and hit the exact same spot that is already dented’. Yet, I have not had the werewithal on those days where I am DDWD (day dreaming while driving) to also focus my poor decisions on the already damaged areas of the vehicle.
A damn shame.
The Miscellaneous Stuff (14/20)
A bit going on, a bit going on. Still had time to set my eyeballs on these goodies:
Really connected with this piece on the ‘Michael Scott Theory of Social Class’ especially as someone that has commenced their existence in the ‘clueless’ category.
This house which really just feels like it was designed to be the set for a murder in a mid-tier cop procedural (missing you, Line of Duty).
Yes I want this. Wish I had the space or the patience to be come a collector of mad things
Jacques Pepin, the man knows his way around an egg.
Gigs this week we are looking a bit quieter (points off for that)! But you can still catch me in the following places:
Tonight! 7:30pm at Club Voltaire Comedy, North Melbourne. Tickets $10, click through to book.
Wednesday 3 Feb, 7:30pm at Funny Stuff, Club Voltaire, North Melbourne. Tickets $10. Also follow our Instagram.
Thursday 4 Feb, 7:30pm at Temple Comedy, Brunswick. Tickets $ 10
Tuesday 9 Feb, 7:30pm at Snort Cast Comedy, St Kilda. Tickets $22.19
Final Rating (68/100)
We didn’t quite get there this time folks! Not to worry, the experiment will continue and maybe I will be a bit more together. Overall I really did have an incredible start to 2021 and this system maybe does too good a job of averaging out the high highs and the low lows. Regardless the data collection will continue! If you enjoy I shaved my legs for…THIS?! Then thank you, I love you. Maybe consider passing it onto a mate that might also enjoy it? I would love that to happen soon so I can start promoting the exciting things I have coming up for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. No worries if not though, haha. I’ll see you in a few weeks!