Happy Valentines Day pals!
Another Sunday, another newsletter and hopefully a chance to escape your lockdown woes for all my Melbourne babies. However, as a passive-aggressive act of defiance, all scores are zero for having to deal with this shit.
Welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day and give the entire day them a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
If this isn’t coming straight to your inbox, why not subscribe using this handy button i’ve placed right here (and also make sure it isn’t going to your ‘beauty promo’ folder.
The Shave (0/20)
A late-night shave. Following a gig that didn’t go badly, but didn’t go well. Knowing you could have done more, should have done more to make it work. But its not just about you is it? Its also about the audience and guess what? You let them down too. Don’t worry though, tomorrow is a new day, a new gig, a new chance.
And you’ll have shaved legs.
The Content (0/20)
Look, I am ashamed to admit this but I have only recently found my way into the RuPauls drag race universe (via the UK). As happens with everyone it is now all I can watch until I have consumed every last drop.
I resisted the drag race phenomenon for so long because I felt that not only is RuPaul largely evil (fracking among other issues) but drag just always felt over-reliant on misogynistic tropes. But as they say, people that live in the comedy scene should not throw stones at the problematic areas of other performance industries. Like any performance, when drag is good it is very very good and when it is bad it is horrid.
Anyway, I feel like I want to treat drag race like an intensive course in character, confidence and just the general art of hamming it up. Luckily, my own drag race, or as it is more commonly known, RAW comedy competition, is rapidly approaching. I will be using everything I have learnt from the school of drag race and fingers crossed I get the opportunity for some catty confessionals during the process.
I also watched the 40-year-old version which I highly recommend for your Sunday night viewing.
The Food (0/20)
For a brief period, I had started working back in the office. Though this had caused me untold pain, there has been one bright light on the otherwise bleak horizon. The Cheesymite scroll.
The cheesymite scroll is a feat of baking that is greater than the sum of its parts. I would never eat a vegemite and cheese sandwich and yet a cheesymite scroll is a true treat. I don’t know whether it is the scrolling of the bread or the baking of the vegemite that helps create this magic alchemy, but whatever it is… it. is. working. Though I strongly recommend going the classic route and hitting up a Bakers Delight for your scroll, I do have some baggage about the place after working there during uni and getting told off for putting bread rolls in my shirt to look like a bodacious rack.
If you feel like going fancy, Bread Club in North Melbourne has a next-level offering, dressing up your cheesymite with egg and chorizo or jalapenos. Too much for me, but you might want to give it a go.
Anyway, this week at work, I recommend you eat a scroll while you scroll through your socials and kick yourself for having lunch at 12, leaving daysssss before you are allowed to go home.
Also a shout out to the meal I had at Maha to celebrate (?) a new day job. Food was delicious, in particular, the breads and dessert and I particularly recommend if you like your dining experiences to feel like they are straight out of a 90s RnB video clip.
The Social Stuff (0/20)
Not pretty to admit but I’ve been in a big ol’ sulk whenever I don’t have gigs lately and its a real downer on the social life. Not a great attitude but the momentum you can get going when your doing comedy every night is addictive. And y’know that I know a thing or two about momentum - I have a PhD in the bus (momentum in continuing to suck).
Relaxing can just become a foreign concept so quickly. What even is the point of it? It offers no money, no validation. Those are my two favourite things. Maybe I inherited this attitude from my dad who has worked a 7 day week my entire life. To the point where my brother and I were convinced he had a second family but we both separately checked in on him at random times and he was always just at work quietly occupying himself and giving meaning to his days.
Guess I’m going to have to keep working on this one.
The Miscellaneous Stuff (0/20)
If you only click on one link this week, make it the story of Ann Patchett and Sookie Raphael. Just some incredible writing and was genuinely so surprised at where it was until I realised that Harpers is not related to Harpers Bazaar.
Even the hunt for vintage furniture has become a new evil under capitalism.
Speaking of, I love ice cream and I love a bankruptcy article - combined is definitely the sweet spot.
Finally, a series that ditches the Julie and is 100% Julia Childs. Bonus points if they cast Stanley Tucci as her husband again though.
For anyone missing travel, I give you the beauty of snow in New York
Despite not being able to do any gigs for the next 5 days, we can’t forget PROMO season!!! If you’ve been keen to come see me in any shows, make them a comedy fest show, please. You can catch me in the RAW Comedy State Final, Breast of the Fest (all nights excluding Saturdays) and The Night Cap (ticket link to come!).
Final Rating (0/100)
Absolutely NOT worth it, so not worth it I might never shave my legs again. Am I being a little dramatic here? Sure, but all this energy I normally spend on going out needs to be channelled somewhere.
Honestly though, I hope this newsletter wasn’t too much of a downer. I usually write this in quick bursts but this one took absolutely F O R E V E R (half a season of drag race, a handful of scrubs eps and one movie) and I don’t really think we are much better off for it. If you did get anything out of it though, I would love it if you could share this newsletter with a friend and maybe even take them with you to a comedy show? Your support is, and I can’t overstate this, all I live for.
Thanks friends! See you in two weeks.