Hello, hello! Good to have ya! Hope life is treating you well and you haven’t checked yout tik tok cache and realised you have watched 522 MILLION videos on there. Because I did do that, and not going to lie, it bummed me out.
But you, you are reading I shaved my legs for…THIS?! the newsletter explores the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
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The Shave
Really good shave, one of those shaves that produces RESULTS. I felt like I was rocking freshly defurred legs for DAYS and I didn’t even notice the very long patches I had missed on the back of both calves.
Rating: 20/20 sometimes things just work out.
The Content
Waiting around is back in a big way! And you know what that means? So are iphone games! I was recently sucked into ‘Project Makeover’ an app that promised a makeover game where I could pluck virtual eyebrows and shave virtual legs, that turned out to be just another of the endless candy crush variations.
Luckily, I knew this going in, because I had read the following helpful review from Rowan114 - a bigger advocate for the game I could not have hoped for.
I must confess I have not read their orginal review, though I fo feel this holds up sufficiently on its on. There is something about (work for ya cash) as a dig at people for not properly enoying their free iphone game that is so amusing to me. Further it confirms my suspicions that I do not enjoy anything unless there is clear work element, which is something I will have to address with a therapist because I hate all other work.
Rating: 100/20 I would die for you, real person Rowan114
The Food
McDonalds has stopped all day breakfast. You can no longer indulge in the simple joy of a bacon and egg mcmuffin, stuffed to the gills with a hashbrown at anytime of the day or night. Of course, some prick in marketing has decided not to make this information public. So you can only find this information out when you turn up at a McDonalds drive through at 12:30, hungover out of your mind.
I can tell you I was not best pleased. Gigs are back and that means so too are free pints and awkwardly drinking free pints because you have done nothing with your six months of lockdown except play Stardew Valley. Which, has proven to be not a bad topic of conversation, given there were a few other farmers round town - but its still going to get a bit tired towards the end.
Any way, if anyone has any solutions to this problem that don’t involve me just making my own bacon and eggs…maybe you know Ronald personally? Well I would love to know in the coments.
Rating: 0/20 change is a bigger scurge on society than McDonalds itself.
The Social Stuff
I’ve dabbled in socializing again, but have largely found it to leave me wistful for the solitude of lockdown. Will try again for next newsletter as we continue the big adjust.
Rating: 5/20 its good to be back, just not ALL the time.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
First they came for the group chat, now tik tok is coming for real life bitching as well??
God, I would kill to be eccentric
I love Portland, Oregon and this day in the life seems pretty much perfect.
Susan Miller is the horoscope queen.
You can absolutely request to be featured for dating matches here if it will get I shaved my legs for…THIS?! in the New York Times.
Facebook loves anger, so its a shame I keep all of mine deeply repressed.
Mummy yard signs and the politcal agenda
Rating: 10/20 just a handfull of links this time, anything more would just be wasted
Final Rating (135/100)
Short and sweet this week, which apparently more than worked in our favor given the off the charts score. Even as I write this in an exhausted haze from having to function as a human again, it is so good to be back.
Thanks as always for taking some time out to read this, you are obviously a cool person that knows how to take time out for themselves and set appropriate boundaries.
If you like this newsletter, I would love if you could share it with a friend, or come to a real life show to see if you recognize any zingers I pull out from these aimless musings. Some hot shows coming up are:
Deathbed Comedy - 10 November
Comedy at the Coopers Inn - 12 November
Corner Comedy @ the Corner Hotel - 16 November
Rhys Nicholson and Friends @ Comedy Republic - 26 November
Comedy Spring Break @ Comedy Republic - 27 November (5pm show with the incred Sami Shah, Tom Ballard and Luka Muller.
Comedy at the Espy - 28 November
We will be back to full oversharing content good times next newsletter I promise you! See you then my prudes x