Spring into Shaving

I shaved my legs for...THIS?! Newsletter #28

Sep 11, 2021

Hello! Happy Sunday! Hope you are having a nice lie-in and really just taking some time out to enjoy yourself.

Okay wait, what actually is this? Well, it’s I shaved my legs for…THIS?! the newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I (semi) critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.

If this isn’t coming straight to your inbox, you can subscribe right now! Using this lil button right here:

`The Shave`

Cute lil shave, it has been hot so I’ve been getting the pins out on my 2 hours of daily exercise.

Rating: 20/20 feels good to finally be showing off the handiwork.

The Content

I’ve been watching Taskmaster NZ season 2 and it is one of those magical seasons where everyone plays their role beautifully and no one annoys me. One of the best casts since Taskmaster OG season 7 IMHO. So in honour of this magic, this week I thought I would tell you what I would do in response to every task for episode 1. So this is a spoiler warning from here on out…

Prize Task: The Best Green Thing

Prue would bring: This Kermit the frog replica puppet sitting in a bowl of green jello as the best frog in a pond (full of pond scum) that the world has ever seen.

Task 1: Knock over the pins but you can’t leave the caravan and paul can’t deliberately knock them over. Fastest wins.

Prue would: Simply chuck the bowling bowl with strength and accuracy and knock them over in a single move known as a ‘strike’.

Task 2: Fly, you have 30 minutes, your time starts now.

Prue would: simply pause time, acquire a wing suit, undertake the appropriate training, travel the required cast and crew members to the top of a large hill or small mountain, un-pause time and jump off.

Task 3: Brush Pauls teeth from the furthest distance.

Prue would: Tape a toothbrush from a drone and pilot that drone from very far away aka the original purpose for the use of drones.

Live task: Build the tallest toilet paper roll tower and you can’t interfere with other towers. In the end, you can throw one of your shoes at a tower of your choosing.

Prue would: I would not build the tallest tower and then miss when throwing my shoe as an act of humility.

Rating: 18/20 despite the incredible feats of achievement I produced, I did not win the episode :(

The Food

Moon Crueller, the younger and dare I say, cooler sibling of Lune has been getting me through this Melbourne lockdown. Compared to the floppy and light insides of your standard donut (even with the cuter spelling), It feels good when you bite into the dignified ridges of a crueller. That’s a moon crueller (sing to this tune please).

When what you eat is grea-sy in the way of KFC. That’s a moon crueller.

But seriously they are a glorious juxtaposition of the refined and the trashy and I simply won’t hear otherwise about it. I implore you, to travel (if it’s within your ability to do so) and enjoy this tasty mouthful. For anyone that is wondering my ranking of their flavours from iconic to just good is - cinnamon, cappuccino, strawberry, vanilla, passionfruit and chocolate.

Rating: 20/20 just try and tell me you aren’t interested in a donut with the satisfying power of fried chicken.

The Social Stuff

Ooooooh boy! I got to speak at the first REDD Centre conference - You CAN ask that, which focused on reducing the stigma around periods and menstruation. It was a delight to be amongst people that were so enthusiastic to be participating, even online, and bringing these great thoughts and questions to the table. I got so into it I even promised to sneak a period focused joke into every stand-up set I ever do. A new challenge, but one I will at least attempt.

The conference really fuelled this need I have felt to gather everyone I like into a small space, like a cruise ship, and just have a great time with them. I have never wanted to be on a cruise in my life. But… the prolonged captivity of lockdown means that I no longer fear open waters, but wish to be captive upon them too.

It also solves to problem of going out and then being amongst people you don’t know and have nothing in common with, which is a less appealing side effect of being allowed out to go about your business. Imagine the joy of being able to hang out with your friends whenever you want AND getting to retreat to your own cabin with a porthole window.

It would also be great to have access to a constant buffet because I am so tired of having to decide what is for dinner.

Rating: 18/20 who wants to join me for the cruise of a lifetime - Pruise Pacific.

The Miscellaneous Stuff

The case for salaried artists - pay for the time instead of the project and see what happens?

I may not by the Pfizer princess I hoped to be, but I still deserve to live in the turret of my dreams (I got AZ, which has proved that despite my suspicions, I am not special)

Lovely article about falling in love, online, during a pandemic.

I’ve liked season 2 of Ted Lasso a lot so far, really hard to see why anyone could be bothered to hate it?

Yeah I would live here, love the cerulean blue bedroom.

Leaning into a staycation in Margaritaville even though the ‘it’s 5 o’clock somewhere’ bar doesn’t open until…5 o’clock.

The devil wears allbirds aka can Silicon Valley ever escape its need to be accepted by the cool and stylish.

Read a newsletter about how Sally Rooney was the uniqlo of writers but I think she is cool and her merch is fine and she should just leave her be.

Rating: 20/20 read your life away!

`Final Rating (96/100)`

Not just a worth it day, but a damn near perfect one!! What else is there to even say. You can find silver linings in any situation yada, yada, yada.

If you liked this newsletter please share it with a friend that might enjoy it or an enemy that you think would hate being signed up for such fun things! Or you can simply leave a comment complimenting me and/or telling me your fave moon crueller flavour.

I shaved my legs for THIS?

Discussion about this post