Can you believe we are one week into THE Melbourne International Comedy Festival? I can’t but only because I am writing this from the past before that happened. I hope you have all been out seeing shows! Especially Breast of the Fest and The Night Cap, which are probably selling out every night and only have one week left to run!
Welcome to I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter exploring the theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day and give the entire day a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave and hopefully worth you reading about.
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The Shave
Had to make sure to have a shave right before going to do the RAW State Final because I am a superstitious bitch. Thank God I put in that bit of extra effort though because the competition was absolutely fierce once I got there and if I hadn’t things could have turned out very differently indeed. I was very, very lucky to make it through to the National Finals and so we will be shaving from the neck down to keep the good luck going for that performance on the 11th of April. Book tickets to come along and see how quickly I get arm stubble.
Rating: 100/20 for helping me achieve my dreams
The Content
There ain’t no drama like a medical drama! Ayyy, oooo!
I’ve been watching New Amsterdam (spoilers coming), which fills the void in my life left by watching Greys Anatomy so much I can’t even feel anything when Burke leaves the love of my life, Christina Yang, at the altar because he got written off for being a homophobic asshole.
Anyway, it has been hard to find another medical drama that can really take me to emotions town. My younger lover and I recently rewatched Scrubs in the hour or so I a lot him to see me between my day job and my beloved night job. Despite it not holding up that well, I would still leave to go to gigs on the brink of tears…and perform better than I have ever performed in my freaking life.
This is why it has been exciting to binge-watch the first season of New Amsterdam because this show knew EXACTLY how to give a slightly new angle in a massively oversaturated market. Not only did they give us a view of the hospital from that top medical director/chief of surgery spot…they also gave the main Dr themselves, Cancer! The one doing the healing must also be healed! No longer do we rely on metaphor to convey that message we are going to make the main character physically very ill.
And sure, it seems to reach a tricky point where you must either heal your main character or kill them off, but really that’s a question more shows should have to deal with.
Rating: 16/20 because they could have at least had a small Meredith Grey walk on as a nod to the greats that came before them.
The Food
I’ve given myself absolute permission to eat like total trash for the two weeks of Comedy Festival that my shows are on. I tell you this while I wait for a Dr. Oetker Papa Giuseppis Rising Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Pizza to finish cooking in the oven for Brunch. You know a food is bad for you if it needs the authority of both a Dr. and a Papa to sell it.
Doing a show at Trades Hall means a lot of meals at The Curtin. It was funny because the place is going for full American dive bar vibes and yet misses out on the classic marketing technique of claiming that their burgers are ‘world famous’ a claim made by every second bar and restaurant across America.
The cheeseburger at The Curtin is one of the best in town. Perfectly constructed with a soft but not too buttery roll, not too thick but not too thin patty, melty cheese and some token salad that all combines into one perfectly glue-y mouthful. I recommend you get yourself one as soon as you can, affordable too and I would say it shits all over the fancier versions (including a certain burger starting with Huxta which has given me the actual shits on more than one occasion).
Rating: 20/20 because I genuinely love all disgustingly bad for you food but I am being sensible about it and eating 4 chewable vitamin C a day to mitigate the impact.
The Social Stuff
Not much to say here. It’s festival season and more than ever we are hanging out with comedians late at night. It is, the best (if I am coming out after a good show) and the worst (if I am coming off a bomb but everyone else had great shows).
We love it, but we would love it more if we remembered to take work off during the festival so we had a bit more time to recover and harness the creative energy that’s free and flowing through Melbourne.
Rating: 20/20 because the good shows are far outweighing the bombs right now.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
For anyone else interested in a long read about what makes a good zipper, a YKK zipper.
Love everything Smitten Kitchen, but will be making these crispy chicken cutlets for sure. Perfect for when you want KFC but you also want to feel smug about your life choices.
I can get behind this new pasta shape, even if I got bored of the podcast series explaining it.
Come for the gorgeous pink couch, stay for the deli meats and cheeses tissue box.
See also the caesar salad chandelier.
PROMO TIME
One more week to buy tickets to my Melbourne International Comedy Festival shows!
Start your night with Breast of the Fest for a tight hour of some excellent comedy, featuring Jordan Barr, Cat Finch, Sashi Perera and Donna Collins. Tickets are $25 - 35 and the show runs from 25 March until 4 April (no shows on Wednesdays and no Prue on Saturdays).
For fans of late-night stories and feeling warm and cosy, come join me and my mate Darcy Fleming at The Night Cap. The show is 10:15pm at Storyville from the 23rd of March until the 4th of April (no fridays and 9:15pm start on Saturdays). Each show will have four great comedians including the likes of Daniel Connell, Ivan Aristeguetta, Peter Jones, Urvi Majumdar, Jordan Barr, Luka Muller and way way more!
Rating: 20/20 because we all know the best link is a promo link.
Final Rating (176/100)
Wow! Has a shave ever been quite so worth it?! Maybe not. But things have been very nice even if I am often doing them through a haze of my own tiredness.
That being said I am taking the next fortnight off the newsletter to claw back a little more rest and work on a new joke about how I drive like someone really confidently using the guide ramp at 10 pin bowling (once the wheel scrapes along the kerb you know you are in the park). This joke will probably never work but nice to have a challenging project on your hands.
I will be back in your inbox from the 25th of April. Until then I will be missing you!