The Season for Shaving
I shaved me legs for...THIS?!? Newsletter #56
Hello sweet angels!
This is going to be an efficient little newsletter as I have been way too addicted to this week’s new content to get up to much else. But I couldn't let my prudes down and miss a fortnight (intentionally). Anyway, welcome to the season for shaving and a friendly reminder to do your Christmas shopping now to avoid the stress of doing it when there is even a whiff of December in the air.
Anyway, you are reading the latest edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
If you aren’t described, I built this little button down there with my bare hands to help you do so. It’ll be better for you, I promise!
The Shave
I shaved, and it was fine. My leg hair is growing back quicker than ever though? Must look into it.
Rating: 10/20 standard points for a standard shave.
The Content
I’ve finally taken the plunge and committed to a new reality TV show. I find the format they use so addictive that the utmost care has to be taken before I let something new control my life/heart/thoughts for the foreseeable future. And the show that has received my bachelor rose is… (pause for dramatic reality TV suspense)… Below Deck.
It’s made the transition from tik tok to the big screen. I’ve watched two seasons since discovering it on Thursday and I already feel like a worse person. Something only the very best reality TV content can help you achieve. I’m immediately looking up the season reddits so that I can confirm that everyone else feels the same way I do and essentially join in on the crew gossip, that I’m sure everyone is still invested in 7 or 8 years after the fact.
The most interesting thing about Below Deck is watching just how quickly every single person on that boat can do the wrong thing, have it captured on camera, and then rewrite the whole situation in their own minds so they come out as the hero. It makes me feel good to know that I’m not alone when I do that for my stand-up, and actually if anything, just know that such a classic human foible makes for a good show.
In the words of our favourite disgraced crew mate Danny “The beautiful thing about being called subpar… is that there is room for improvement”.
Rating: 20/20 I will sail the seven seas for as many seasons as they are willing to give me.
The Food
Took myself out for a pancake breakfast after voting early because I know how to celebrate accomplishing those big goals. There is nothing like those plump, little buttermilk stacks…except every time I go for breakfast I have to resist that sweet siren call of egg and bacon to get them. And normally when I do order them I feel a little letdown. And these ones were great with their pecan butter and side jug of syrup, but a little part of me felt that the side of ice cream and berries would have tipped it over into full breakfast dessert goodness.
Anyway, it was great to see Operator Diner filling that American diner void in my heart and I will definitely be back to suss out their hashbrowns. The only thing I can ask of them is that they get successful enough to go 24 hours prior to comedy festival so I can really make the most of that $8.50 bottomless filter coffee.
Rating: 16/20 diner diner diner, ain’t nothing finer (sing this to the tune of money, money, money please).
The Social Stuff
I decided to ditch my old mechanic because they stopped texting me reminders that I was due for a service and I wasn’t about that playing hard-to-get approach. You want me to come to you and spend money I don’t want to spend without a little nudge? I don’t think so! I need to be made to feel very guilty about putting you off a few times first.
I then chose a new mechanic based purely on proximity to my house. I’m done with making a huge treck back and forth and my car has too many scratches (dents, dings, etc) on it for me to feel comfortable asking for a hire car. My only reservations came from some negative reviews online, but I reassured myself by thinking ‘well who is going to leave a positive review after a service that is extra ouch on the wallet’.
AND I WAS RIGHT! The service was excellent, got the lil car wash and vacuum. I still have some money. Everything has played perfectly in my favour and I got a lovely little walk out of it. So suck shit, Yelp. I will not live and die by your word any longer. I am a free thinker for life!
Rating: 17/20 worked out nice, but do they always point something out to ensure it’s more expensive next time?
The Miscellaneous Stuff
Is the big tech collapse a mystery?
I hated this woman’s butter board, but I want to try this salad.
Great article on the appeal of dating Pete Davidson.
Love this pink roller coaster.
Obsessed with these roll-on perfumes.
And also these satisfying cookies.
Rating: 13/20 uhhhh I’ve done my best here, in between yachting disasters that required my full attention.
Final Rating (76/100)
TWO IN A ROW. TWO WORTH IT WEEKS IN A ROW! We all know what that means - summer is here and the leg shaving is reaching its full potential.
Thank you so much for reading my thoughts this week. This is essentially my journal and I am sure in future years I will be held in the same esteem as Samuel Pepys or Adrian Mole. So I think we are all getting something from the experience. If you enjoyed the experience, I would love it if you could share it with some mates. The more prudes I have in my army the better things will be. I can’t think of anything I dream of more than bringing people together over a shared in-joke I helped to create. Otherwise, I’ll be back here in two weeks as per usual.
Unfriended is on sale for Perth FRINGEWORLD! It’s a show about friendship breakups and me trying to justify that they have never actually hurt me despite my dedicating a whole hour to the topic.