I have a confession to make. I skipped a week of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! I just wasn’t feeling it and thought you, my dear reader, wouldn’t notice. I am very sorry for (correctly) assuming this. Sometimes I just seem to be walking around with not a thought in my head to share. But now we are back and we have plenty of exciting things to dive into, so let’s not dwell on the past.
Anyway, you are now reading the latest edition of I shaved my legs for…THIS?! The newsletter explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort should translate to having an above-average day. To test this theory I critically review every shave and the subsequent day/week/experiences and give it all a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
If this isn’t coming straight to your inbox, you can subscribe right now! Using this button right here:
The Shave
A classic getting out of the shower, noticing my leg hair, and then getting straight back in to shave those thangs. They were in that awkward length stage that I can not push through no matter how hard I try. At least when your head hair gets to that awkward length you can push through with an elaborate number of bobby pins that will be left to rust in the soap holder of your shower. Plus you have to call up someone and make an appointment to do anything about it, which I can put off near indefinitely.
Rating: 10/20 as I won’t be embracing my own leg hair anytime soon
The Content
On my flight to Brisbane, I did something absolutely crazy and left the switch at home to read not one but two genuine books (on a Kindle, but still). Something that really irks me is how pretentious people become when they get asked to talk about books (unless you are a nerd that likes fantasy books) when I think there is nothing wrong with reading something that doesn’t have an ounce of cool in it. I am a single genre girl. Give me a rom with a bit of com, please.
I take great pride in being the person who is reading a raunchy sex scene in a giant font because I haven’t bothered to pack my glasses. I hope they also get to spend a little bit of time enjoying a bit of hanky panky up against the rough, splintered wall of the local barn or something equally trite.
I admit that sometimes my head does go too far up my own ass with the genre though, both books I read (this one and this one) were about writers undoing their own writing block by living the romance they normally just write about. If this continues I do worry I will eventually be reading about an editor, reading a book about writing romaces that is about them finding romance (it’s this book, and I’ve already read it).
Rating: 20/20 always supportive of someone writing their own happy ending.
The Food
Being snobbish about the quality of your coffee is a fundamental part of living in Melbourne, but after visiting my parents in Brisbane last week, I truly think their coffee situation is better. Not the coffee itself, that is trash…but the fact that they still do a “free” biscuit on the side of your coffee. You could hand me the milkiest, most burnt and bitter coffee in the world and if there was a free little shortbread on top I would still recommend you to all of my acquaintances.
Now I am back (and also too poor to afford a daily barista coffee), I have even gone as far as to purchase little Gingerbread Pipsqueaks from Phillipas, so I can put one on the side of my morning drip-brew. Of course, this habit will end up costing far more than a daily barista coffee, but I never said my financial struggles were because I make sensible decisions regarding them.
Rating: 20/20 a “Free” coffee treat I am 100% willing to pay for
The Social Stuff
I know I have neglected this section of the newsletter for a long time, but I have been storing up all of my energy so that I am going into Edinburgh hot and FRESH.
I did go out for a coffee the other day and am devastated to learn that the communal table has made a huge comeback. Especially, because I happened to be sitting across from someone I had just done my morning PT session with. Both of us quietly treating ourselves because we all know if you start the weekend with 30 minutes of working out, you can do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of the time. I will not feel shame, only mild annoyance to be found out so quickly.
Besides, my primary training goal is to be someone that can fuck up fruit in strange ways, I will not rest until I can rip an apple in half/crush a watermelon with my thighs/be ahhh fed grapes while I lounge.
Also an underrated tweet for you:
Rating: 5/20 the persistence of the communal table will piss me off for the rest of my life.
The Miscellaneous Stuff
It’s happening, they are trying to make an Oodie sexy.
This nightmare of a cake
My dream to be asked to do a Grub Street Diet and Jacqueline Novaks is one of the best yet.
The Nick Cave/Love Island crossover no one expected. Sure Luca has behaved pretty poorly on the show, but his parents do sound lovely.
Rating: 5/20 hard to find much good this time.
Final Rating (60/100)
Ups and downs my friends, ups and downs. I have to admit I am running out of steam at this point (too many little gingerbreads and coffees) but I hope you enjoyed my slightly belated newsletter. I think there are some pertinent observations on the human condition in there for sure. Even if it is just my own unique version of the human condition.
I am planning to keep sending out newsletters while I am in Edinburgh over August but there might be a few shorter ones during that time. Depends on how lonely I get while I am there. As always, if this newsletter made you feel less lonely or even generated a little smile, I would love it if you could share it with a friend. No worries if not though, you are all my most reasured little Prudes xx