Hello again! Your fortnightly newsletter from me, Prue Blake, temporarily Brisbane based. Air travel is once again back on the agenda but continues to be without luxury.
This newsletter explores my theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort, should translate to having an above-average day. I’m testing this theory by critically reviewing shave day and rating them out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave.
If you would like to subscribe to this fortnightly newsletter, which you definitely will if you don’t want to become my mortal enemy…click below!
The Shave (14/20)
I have shaved my legs so many times this fortnight that I don’t even know which time to choose. Honestly, I am talking 3 - 4 shaves here. Unprecedented numbers. I think a lot of this renewed shaving vigour is to try and hold onto at least some self-care habits now I am a gal about town.
I would say every shave has been average to slightly above average. It has definitely got me out of the house to present these skin forward legs to the world. One time I even washed my sheets, so 14 feels about right.
The Content (20/20)
I’m watching what everyone is watching: The Crown. Which I have loved, though it has caused an ongoing and unresolved rift between me and my younger lover (MYL).
The issue is this. I wanted to start watching The Crown. BUT, I was only interested in The Crown because of the details and chatter that was happening around season 4. So, I simply started watching at Season 4 and have since advised many people to also do so. It’s a history-based show! It’s already spoiled! Life is too short to wade through the muck of previous seasons you are less invested in. Life is also too short to not shout a topical joke into the Twitter void.
MYL is incensed by this approach. No more so than when after enjoying season 4, I went back to watch…season 3, followed by season 1 and then yet to come season 2. I am a true agent of chaos that will not be dictated to. He argues that if you watch something in the order it is intended you will get a much greater payoff. I counter that the season 1 Queen blow job scene gave me an immense pay off after spending two decades with her elder counterpart.
Please note above, I back my poorly performing tweets because I am not a coward
The Food (20/20)
Had some chippies. 20/20.
The Social Stuff (14/20)
Can I just say my social life is THRIVING and if anything it might be too much?
The worst thing is, so many people have emerged lately having actively worked to better themselves this year. A shame, because I have been focusing on deeply repressing all of my emotions and was looking forward to some good-natured conflict with a mortal enemy or two to bring them back.
I mean who even are you if you don’t have a mortal enemy? I’ve been trying to accumulate them since my first mortal enemy was established in my junior years. The problem is that the ultimate way to best a mortal enemy is to become completely indifferent to them. Nothing stings more than achieving something to spite an enemy and them not even caring about it. So of course, once I have made an enemy, I must then forget them.
I remember explaining this once to an older mortal enemy/unrequited love and he said:
you know you won’t always feel things this intensely, eventually it all mellows out with age
Condescending much?? From the point that he dared to utter those words, my life purpose has been to prove him wrong.
The Miscellaneous Stuff (20/20)
Life is hard, but fake heiress Anna Delvey might be a comedy genius. Read her prison diaries here.
Whoa, this article about Lonely Lingerie and QAnon.
And related, can there ever be too many articles about the instagram aesthetic?
I love any ‘eat everything on the menu’ vid because I think it is my ultimate dream. This new British series no exception, watch for thrilling sandwich reviews.
This very, on the nose, shambolic, 2020 Christmas tree.
Deconstruction of an American menu.
Love this profile, Jessi Klein and Big Mouth.
PROMO CORNER
You can see me perform again! Thank god I spent this year building this newsletter and my vast and loyal fanbase of Prudes. Come see me at:
Spleen Comedy - THIS MONDAY (7 December). Both the 7 pm and 8:30 shows. Book here.
Funny Stuff - Wednesday 9 December. I will be MCing the whole damn show. Give the page a follow here and book over here.
The New Normal, at the Workers Club - Monday 14 December. New room with a killer lineup. Follow them here and Book right here.
That’ll do for now, there is also a very exclusive gig in a shed on the cards but you’ll have to be in the know to book that one.
Final Rating (88/100)
This day was WORTH IT. Things are looking good for us out here. If you want to avoid being my mortal enemy, why not like/share/comment on this publication. There should be some buttons all over the place to assist you. Not much else to say but for you to scroll up just a tad and book tickets for some gigs! Then you too can live this dream life I am living.
See you all in a fortnight!