Hey! It’s me, Melbourne comedian and writer Prue Blake. I have a theory that shaving your legs or putting in that bit of extra effort, should translate to having an above-average day. I’m testing this theory by critically reviewing every or most days where a shave is had and giving them a rating out of 100. Any day that scores higher than a 75 was definitely worth the shave (whether the effects were direct or more…indirect).
This newsletter comes fortnightly and so can you. If you subscribe right now that is.
The Shave (20/20)
Just a beautiful shave today. The razor was fresh, the lather was thick and I was sitting down in the shower without my butt (fully) blocking the drain and flooding the bathroom. Just how I like it. My legs felt smooth if a little bit dry and I appeared to miss no patches. Does this seem like it could be the start of a perfect day?
The Content (14/20)
Content-wise…well, let’s just say gigs are back and I am a totally different person. My main consumption of content has been watching ‘The Great British Bake Off’ and ‘The Great British Bake Off: Extra Slice’ while pedalling my ass off on the foldable exercise bike a friend gifted me. This new activity is primarily to burn off the adrenalin of performing a good/okay set to 10 people. This is mostly so I can get some sleep and not a meaningful attempt at exercise.
Which is lucky, because I need you to understand that this bike, it is like pedalling on a cloud. Unfortunately, this is because it offers absolutely no resistance. All the resistance is provided by a mid-size magnet and it turns out a magnet is no match for my powerful pushing. If my lady bits were magnets, then I would probably be more inclined than I am now to have children. I imagine we wouldn’t have declining fertility rates if pushing out a baby was described as ‘pedalling on a cloud’.
Otherwise, I’ve been watching This Country (on Stan) after this season of Taskmaster has ignited a giant comedy crush on Daisy May Cooper and Giri/Hiji when I have to compromise what I want to watch with my young lover. By compromise, I mean I also chose it and told him its what we would be watching.
As a beautiful link between newsletter sections - enjoy Daisy May Cooper on a food pod.
The Food (20/20)
An excellent food day. Thought I would do a little food tour of my own city, really scratch that travelling itch. I thought we would record the journey here for anyone looking to recreate it as if they were my close personal friend enjoying this city with me.
We are starting out in my favourite place, the heart of inner-city Melbourne. Sustenance for our journey comes in the form of a Baker Bleu escargot (still holding down the fort as best pastry in Melbourne) and a long black from Morning Market.
Then we are going to stroll all the way to Mexico and hit up Frankie’s Tortas and Tacos. This place tries very hard to maintain a don’t give a fuck vibe but we all know tacos don’t travel so it was worth checking out in the flesh. We are going to get is the Al Pastor tacos (plate of three) because today is all about those lil bites. Honestly, these are going to be tasty but you will need to add the hot sauce on hand to really punch em up flavour wise. You will also miss the pineapple that all the taco vids on youtube have assured us is custom with an Al Pastor.
Finally, we are meeting a friend and jumping over to Japan to close out the food tour at Papirica. They had a strawberry daifuku mochi that is not as good as the one you could get at 7/11 in Japan Japan, but still hit the spot in all the right ways. Your friend will get the egg sando, which is, utterly disgusting. This is the fault of egg sandwiches everywhere and not the establishment.
I’m tapping out of the food tour here but I can only commend you for being a better eater than I am if you choose to continue.
The Social Stuff (0/20)
Socially, things have never been better and never been worse. Some people should have been given more time to adjust to being out. The thing I didn’t mention about the food tour around the streets of Fitzroy and Collingwood is…the incident.
I was waiting at the lights on Gertrude/Brunny, drinking my coffee so my mask was, I will admit, hanging off one ear coquettishly. Cue an older gentleman approaching, mask leaving a significant gap between fabric and face and motioning for me to take out my headphones so he could say ‘can I have this dance…you’ll have to put your mask on’.
I would love to tell you I said something biting or clever before walking off, but I kind of stammered ‘I’m all good thanks’ and then the lights changed and I took off. The worst part of this was not the interaction itself, but the guilt that followed. I worried that in these difficult and isolating times, I had rejected a sweet old man’s innocent bid for connection.
Luckily, this was quickly followed by rage. This is real life and you are not my charming husband I can no longer remember from the Notebook. And even if Ryan Gosling himself came up to me at 11 in the morning, I doubt we would chat much and we certainly wouldn’t be busting out a quick two-step in the streets. I would hesitate to do a two-step even in an actual night club after a couple of gin martinis. In your sweet dreams, ya old bastard.
Anyway, my mask remained firmly on at all crossings for the rest of the day. Any advice you can give me as to whether that was a creepy situation or something I should have been less stuck up and got my two left feet moving would be appreciated.
The Miscellaneous Stuff (20/20)
I’ve been going couch shopping, gutted this ad was a scam
Animal insides! Fun!
No one has agreed with me that this is the best house.
Thanks to Larry David’s daughter for the worst article I have ever read. Reminds me of the saying I just came up with - “if you're a child from parents of fame, you yourself should abstain. We should have all learnt, from Nicole Richie”.
Yes to this ode to Auntie style.
The problems with the sex recession - Good reminder for me to get my erotic faux memoir podcast off the ground. Sure to get people more in the mood to get sexy.
Look a lot of the articles online right now are boring and/or about thanksgiving. So instead, why not book an in the flesh comedy show at:
Voltaire on a Wednesday/Sunday (especially Sunday 29 Nov to see me!) and Friday for that fresh stuff
The coolest cheesesteak and comedy combo @ Catfish Comedy
New comedy theatre that is coming out guns blazing: Comedy Republic
An absolute classic: Comedy at Spleen
Heaps more shows are starting up and all the shows I have done so far have been super fun. I will try and link to more new and revived shows in future newsletters (probably as they book me)!
Final Rating (74/100)
Ooft, just missed out! To be fair this day was a little bit of a roller coaster and sometimes it’s the negatives that get in the newsletter because they make a better story. I am down to the wire on finishing this newsletter so better to just wrap it up.
Please go see gigs, it is an absolute joy to have them back and what better way to shake off the cobwebs than with a good ol’ belly laugh. If you like this newsletter please, leave me a comment with that validating information and maybe share it with a friend? Speak again in but two brief weeks! Miss you already xx